A Million Dirty Secrets Epub Å A Million PDF \

A Million Dirty Secrets Epub Å A Million PDF \

A Million Dirty Secrets (Million Dollar Duet, #1) [Reading] ➾ A Million Dirty Secrets (Million Dollar Duet, #1) Author C.L. Parker – Larringtonlifecoaching.co.uk For fans of Fifty Shades of Grey and Bared to You comes a wickedly erotic new novel of innocence desire and unbridled pleasure   Delaine Talbot has a secret When a matter of life and death threatens For fans of Fifty Shades of Grey and Bared to You comes a wickedly erotic new novel A Million PDF \ of innocence desire and unbridled pleasure   Delaine Talbot has a secret When a matter of life and death threatens to tear apart her family Delaine makes the ultimate sacrifice She auctions herself off at Chicago’s most exclusive erotic club Now she belongs to Noah Crawford a wealthy mogul who introduces her to a seductive feast of the senses awakening desires she only dreamed about    Noah doesn’t know why Delaine sold her body for a cool two mil But it’s the perfect business arrangement The inexperienced beauty will learn to satisfy his every sensual need yet never touch his heart Almost immediately their relationship generates heat—in ways than one When they fight they take no prisoners When they love they show no mercy When they’re together they never want to leave each other’s arms But soon their intense physical bond will take an unexpected turn—evolving into something neither has bargained for the promise of a lasting love.

About the Author: C.L. Parker

C L Parker is a romance author who writes stories that sizzle She’s a small town girl A Million PDF \ with big city dreams and enough tenacity to see them come to fruition Having been the outgoing sort for all her life—which translates to “she just wouldn’t shut the hell up”—it’s no wonder Parker eventually turned to writing as a way to let her voice and those of the people living inside her head be heard.

10 thoughts on “A Million Dirty Secrets (Million Dollar Duet, #1)

  1. SueBee★bring me an alpha!★ SueBee★bring me an alpha!★ says:

    ★★★★★ A Million Dirty Secrets book 1 of 2 Noah Crawford sex god extraordinaire’s fall into whopped “I was a slave to it which was ironic since she was supposed to be my slave She played her part well make no mistake but that little pussy of hers owned me And I didn’t mind one motherfucking bit” Books in Million Dollar Duet should be read in orderBook 1 A Million Dirty SecretsBook 2 A Million Guilty PleasuresIn A Million Dirty Secrets we meet Delaine Talbot Laine a middleclass girl who instead of attending college stayed home to take care of her terminally ill mother Through a friend she hears of an underground auction where you can sell yourself as a sex slave So to help with medical bills and her mother’s heart transplant she offers her virginity and two years of her life to the highest bidder Under the pretense of attending College on a scholarship she sets out on her journey Noah Crawford grew up privileged He was the prodigal son and heir to a fortune But his parent’s untimely death not only left him feeling at blame but burdened him with the responsibility at age 22 of taking over Scarlet Lotus For the past six years he has been fighting to keep control with his arch enemy doing everything to sabotage including having sex with his fiancé in his home He is disillusioned and lonely and horny When he hears of the auction he feels it’d be the perfect solution for a safe no strings attached sexual relationshipAfter the auction Laine cannot believe her luck and the handsome well endowed rich young man who just purchased her but when he orders her to give him a blow job she does what any sensible virgin would do she accidently bites his cock Noah is instantly attracted and turned on by Delaine and as much as it shouldn’t her snarky attitude only turns him on A Million Dirty Secrets follows them as Noah sets out to educate Laine about sex while he raises walls around himself with rules and a bossy attitude And soon his guilt creeps in Laine is resentful of her situation and frustrated with herself for her attraction to Noah and her enjoyment of everything that is sex with Noah Needless to say they both have lots to come to terms with and much to overcome Prepare yourself for a bumpy ride with lots of mind blowing sex witty bantering as these two very strong personalities go head to head fighting their attraction every step of the way “I’d hoped taking her virginity in midclimax would make it easier but I couldn’t tell if it actually had I mean I had mirrors I knew how big my cock was” Noah Patrick Crawford is everything I could ever ask for in a hero In his POV we are treated to his wit and sarcasm that both endeared and entertained me A larger than life hero Ten words to describe Noah Captivating jaded sexy witty flawed reflective elusive bossy possessive and unforgettable “When Noah Crawford wanted something you couldn’t bat a lash around him or you were going to miss seeing how he got it Not that I was complaining or anything” Delaine Marie Talbot Laine initially came across a bit too uirky with her nicknames for private parts But after a few chapters it worked Or maybe it was just overshadowed by everything that is Noah Five words to describe Laine Loyal unselfish smart feisty and adaptable “She was going to be mega pissed For me that translated into another epic sexcapade Ding ding ding ding Triple whammy” Captivating I was glued to the pages not wanting story to end Book 1 left us with a huge cliffy and a state of disarray I am only too happy that I have an ARC for book 2 A Million Guilty PleasuresEntertaining plot Effortless writing Scorching sex scenes But above all an unforgettable larger than life hero Noah Crawford “I realized how truly inexperienced and foolish I really was a small town girl attempting to play in the major leagues with a man who was larger than life itself” Hero rating 5 stars Heroine rating 35 4 starsSex scenes rating 5 starsSex scenes freuency 5 starsStoryline concept rating 5 starsStorytelling skills rating 5 starsStory ending rating NABook editing rating 5 no edits spotted 45 starsOverall rating 5 starsWould I recommend this series YesWould I re read this series YesWould I read future books by this author Yes Top GIF approved by GR 10 2013

  2. Ade Ade says:

    The Basic Summary In order to save her mother's life Delanie Talbot sells herself into sexual slavery Enter her owner for the next 2 year Noah Crawford What follows is a journey of self discovery for both Lanie and Noah and the chance of unexpected love Hah All of what I just said? LiesMy Review Reading this book was like watching a horrific train wreck happen You're sitting there jaw dropped in a horrible sort of fascination and you know that you should look away but you can't So instead you watch the train wreck happen because you can't not look The first page of this book was filled with slut shaming which is when I knew that I should really put down this book and walk away Some of you may not know this but in addition to my shallow cover hoarding I also lack self control and a sense of self preservation I know something is bad and I know that I should stop but I can't help myself One part of me is sitting there going Hah Ade you are such a wuss Yea you wuss You're going to put down this book aren't you? Why? Because YOU CAN'T TAKE IT Another part of me is like Bring it bitch I am going to kick your ass and the last part of me is like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING? STOP IT I rarely listen to the 3rd part of me What was the point of that? To let you know what goes on in my head when I don't DNF a book that I really should DNFLet's start with Lanie Lanie is an idiot There's no getting around it She's just stupid We're supposed to believe that she's a mature 24 year old but she's not The book immediately starts off with Lanie slut shaming other women and just gets worse from there She uses phrases like moo juice coco yumminess eager beaver and googly moogly on a regular basis She even refers to her vagina as Double Agent Coochie and to Noah's penis as Wonder Peen How many 24 year olds do you know that act like that? Personally I know none Lanie selling her body was supposed to make us feel sympathetic towards her but it didn't really work out that way At first it was a little sad but the sympathy uickly ran out becuase she acts like an idiot I know we were supposed to like her but between the slut shaming the weird thoughts she had regarding Noel and sex and all of the phrases she used she was just incredibly unlikeableNoah was he was a misogynistic douche schnozzle He thinks with his penis and that's about it Occasionally he'll remember that there's another head that he can think with but any thoughts that came from the brain in his other head were uickly brushed aside by the head in his pants If I'm being completely honestNoah's character was bland His only defining characteristic was that he was jerk Oh and can I just say that it's annoying that he somehow had the time to gain the skill level of a concert pianist? From what Noah said in the book he was too busy drinking and fucking up when he was young to do anything else There was no mention of him playing piano or any other instrument until Lanie discovered he had a music room and he proceeded to woo her with his piano skills At least FSoG provided a bit of a back story regarding the piano This book just threw it in there with no warningThe sex scenes were awful There's no nice way to say it They were weird and awkward and half of the sexy things they did weren't actually sexy It got to the point where I just started skimming the sex scenes because they were so badMy Overall Opinion I honestly thought this book was horrible but maybe that's just me The characters weren't likeable the story sucked and the sex scenes read like they were written by a horny 15 year old boy I personally think that the book was just bad all around but y'all can read it and find out for yourselvesFind this review and at Confessions of a Cover Hoarder

  3. Mirjana **DTR - Down to Read** Mirjana **DTR - Down to Read** says:

    2 STOP SAYING COOCH StarsHaving to relive what I just read I've prepared myself for writing this reviewLanie's mom is sick Her heart is failing and she's knocking on death's door With her mom in desperate need of a heart transplant and her family drowning in medical bills Lanie decides to make the ultimate sacrifice for her familyherself She decides to sell her virgin self at an underground auction in a scene straight from the movie Taken for 2 million and two years TWO YEARS Enter Noah Crawford Mega millionaire businessman looking for a no strings arrangement because he's been burned in the past He just wants to fuck and have someone for show Lanie and Noah uickly get down to business He whips out his MASSIVELY COLOSSAL cock 9 inches to be exactI know this because our MC's pulled out a measuring tape to get a concrete number on record and orders Lanie to give him a blowjob Now our virginal heroine has never even seen a cock so imagine her shock that she would be reuired to perform right away She has a little issue with sheathing her teeth and Noah puts a halt to the blowjob realizing that his purchase is even inexperienced than he thought In order to mask her unease Lanie decides to throw some sasswhich our hero Noah of course finds a complete turn on While the author's goal may have been for Lanie to be this spunky and sassy leading lady what she came off as was annoyingly immature and just plain annoying It uickly became apparent that any time Lanie opened her mouthLanie's nicknames and terminology was something straight out of a wannabe cool high school movie It was awkward uncomfortable tried way too hardand damn annoying Allow me to share some examples porntastic anytime Noah did anything Wonder Peen nickname for Noah's COLOSSAL COCK Twat DocCrotch Doc when Noah says he's taking her to get on the pill she replies with You're taking my kitty to the vet? True story insert eyeroll snatch uh huh love nubbin sure Double Agent Coochie nickname for her lady bits King of the Finger Fuck Noah's a man of many talents Super Cooch as in Super Cooch was hopelessly addicted to the Wonder Peen again true story She said that Please send me my eyes back for they have rolled out of my head Ridonkabutt Assterpiece what resides on the flip side to Wonder Peen drinky poos how she announced she'd like a drink while attending a business galaOk you get my point on the terminology And that's just the tip of the iceberg of a huge pile of But that's not all Your free gift with purchase of idiotic terminology contains ridiculous inner dialogue and awkwardly unpleasant visuals Here's a small sample of what you can expect to cringe at Double Agent Coochie was now drooling all over my thighs The Cooch suealed in delight when she was finally reunited with the Wonder Peen I could almost see the star crossed lovers as they ran across a field of daisies to finally be in each other's arms You put a serious beating on the Cooch The Cooch was threatening to gnaw her way through my bikini to get at him and I smacked her on the head to get her to settle down I felt Noah's mouth frenching the CoochDear author who speaks like that? Thinks like that? Do I want to read the word cooch 37 times? Do I want to read about the heroine referring to said cooch in the third person? And in case you're wondering why our darling virginal Lanie is so obsessed with her Coochwell after four days of teasing Noah's COLOSSAL COCK popped Lanie's twat cherry and our little Lanie became insatiable The fornication doors were wide open and really how could Super Cooch ever deny herself the magic that is the Wonder Peen? Because naturally what's a woman to do when Noah and his COLOSSAL COCK are around but mount that bad boy and ride off into the sunset any chance you get To round out the ridiculousness that I've already mentioned there's very little plot insta love and insta lust unbelievable and over the top scenarios at one point in a jealous rage Lanie shreds with a knife and sets on fire a box of lingerie awkward and stilted dialogue cartoon ish secondary characters scenes that were drawn from other books or popular movies ie Lanie sitting naked on a piano while Noah plays for her Lanie trying to seduce Noah by wearing only his tie and high heels and so many and finally one dimensional MC's And short story long there you have it In a nutshell this is the Wayans family parody version of a billionaire herovirgin heroine romance book

  4. Rose Rose says:

    I'm going to start this review by saying there is a time when you're a readerpurveyor of many books and you'll come across some that are so inexplicable you have no idea where to start on reflecting about the experience of reading them Many of my fellow reviewers friends recommenders told me that my brain would break during the reading of this once previously noted Twilight fanfic but I find my brain's broken after the fact because I have no clear cut idea how to reflect on A Million Dirty SecretsIt is one of those books that I uestion where the appeal comes from why it isn't seen as offensive and why it was picked up for publication in the first place with its many caveats I'm judging this on the level of the writing and presentation I see here not on the fact that it was once fanfic or what have you though I've debated that also in the past particularly in explorations where I talked about The Submissive and Beautiful Bastard The presentation of this story was all over the place had odd attributions wasn't edited well and for a sensuoussexual read it really wasn't evoking of that particular sense at all It was over the top on almost every dimension it tried to put across That's a series of critical and heavy statements to make if considered in themselves but I'll take the time to expoundA Million Dirty Secrets follows in the line of many erotic titles that base their successes on the formula paved by EL James's Fifty Shades of Grey not just in the measure of the P2P fanfic notation but also in the portrayal of erotic stories that have this template of taking two generic character types throwing them into said situations with very little development or plot and focusing on the intimate interactions between them without exploring the deeper connections and context they may have And it's worth asking how can you explore physical intimacy if there's no other intimate backbone to speak of? I'm familiar with the erotic genre I do believe there are ways of showing the intimacy between two people without necessarily defaulting to the sexy times Ultimately when I read in this or any other genre I look for how the story can pull me into the struggles and explorations of the characters they're portraying as well as the overarching narrative in itselfI had a hard time like many of the derivative P2P fiction I've picked up remembering the characters for their names rather than their stereotypes And let's be real this story is NOT new as opposed to what the blurb says You can name either of these characters anything you want whether they're Bella and Edward or Delaine or Noah but the fact of the matter is that this story features the klutzy girl defined by her virginity submitting herself to the cocky billionaire under a tragic circumstance It's insulting considering Delaine lies to her parents about attending UCLA but instead signs a not so defined contract of 2 years to submit herself to this billionaire in any way he wants her to which implies sexually among other things and she ends up liking it despite going through things she doesn't want to do The cost is 2 million dollars which will go toward paying for her mother's transplant surgery when she's clearly on her deathbed and its not a guarantee whether the money will aid her or notNoah is a jerk in every shape and form It's not just the measure that he's overconfident but the things he says and does are not alluring or attractive in any sense of the word The forced intimacy and what he makes Delaine submit to even when he knows full and well she's inexperienced doesn't make any kind of sense or give any sort of euivalence or true chemistry Add to that some of the odd dialogues including Delaine actually talking to her crotch and addressing it as Double Agent Coochie at the freuency of oh mys and inner goddess in Fifty Shades and the ridiculous factor multiplies by a thousand foldI'm also weirded out by the amount of pop culture name drops throughout this work to try to evoke humor or familiarity with the situations That is usually not a good idea especially when the supposed humor seems forced and relies so much on the reference to carry it And for those who may not know the reference it may fly over their head and make the narrative antiuated if used too much Personally speaking I would rather not have my memories of Inspector Gadget Pretty Woman or Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom tainted by this book thank you very much You can't evoke comparisons to Richard Gere or drop name brands or childhood staples without any level of intimacy to them Especially not in the same mention as Double Agent Coochie Go go Gadget Cockblock and Steel Dick which is pretty mild considering how many times Noah's particular appendage is referenced for glorified size and length Spending lines on being coo coo for Cocoa Puffs seems disingenuous compared to focusing on say oh I don't know how the heroine's being treated and how her mother's nearly on her deathbed It made the narrative juvenile and even in the interest of humor it seemed formulaicThe sexy time scenes lack fire and creativity and are rather repetitive in the narrative rather than having any kind of significant payoff especially considering the connection between the leads is threadbare to begin with The story has really irritating conflict drops for jealousy that don't really have any grounds to begin with and the endingreally wasn't one The side characters are as forgettable as the leads some cultural stereotypes applied and then you have the problematic measures such as slut shaming female female hating etcSuffice to say I'm not going to continue with this series and I would most definitely say there are better books in this respective genre and beyond to spend your time and expense on0 stars Because there really weren't any positive points I could say about this novel in the aftermathNote I received this as an ARC from NetGalley from the publisher Random House

  5. Allison ❤️Will Never Conquer Her TBR❤️ Allison ❤️Will Never Conquer Her TBR❤️ says:

    45 PLEASANTLY SURPRISED starsYa know what I love? I love when I go into a book without high expectations reading reviews that are mixed then come out giddy in love with it It's like Christmas for mea true gift I try to remember different strokes for different folks I received this book as an arc a super long time ago but decided to wait until I could read both books I'm very happy I did as this one ends in a bit of a cliffy Delaine is a 24 year old straight A student She loves her parents stays to herself and watches day by day her mother passing away She has a life threatening heart condition and without insurance she won't get the heart transplant she needs Time is not on her side Lanie needs to act fast She decides to sell herself to fund her mother's medical care Selling her virgin body to the highest bidder as a sex slaveNoah is a man on a mission Successful Rich Scorned Finding his ex fiancée in his hot tub getting fucked from behind by his best friend wasn't his idea of a Welcome home honey He's tried the casual hook ups since then but he really does value his dick and even with a condom shit happens He's got the money Why not BUY a no string attached relationship? What he didn't bank on was the girl he set eyes on and purchased was one little hell fire Everytime she opens her mouth he gets hard Most guys would've given her back by now but he loves her feistiness Can Delaine give Noah her body her life for two years in exchange for 2 million without growing attached? He's not what she imagined she'd get stuck with He's GORGEOUS Can Noah keep this no strings attached relationship THAT? Keeping feelings out of it? He's been hurt before What's her deal? Why would such a sweet wholesome girl sell herself for 2 million? I makes no senseHere's what I loved about this book Delanie She was snarky and tough How Noah didn't kick her out in her keister by day 2 I'm not sure Any other dominant guy would've asked for a refund The book is in alternating POV but it's her that makes me smile It's got a lot of humor and her nicknames for EVERYTHING made me chuckle The weak heroine thing I'm so done with This girl is not weakI hate comparing books in reviews but since this has some less than stellar ones it helps to explain the comedy I'd put this book as a cross between Seduction and Snacks and a FSoG type book it's got some great sex scenes that are panty melting hot but also this humor all along the way I highlighted some of her snarky little terms Here are a fewDouble Agent Coochie she wants to not like him but her girlie bits do King of the Finger Fuck Hoochie of a Coochie love nubbin band of his fuck her wear Wonder Peen strictly dickly The Ridonkabutt she has an ass fetish with Noah Death by aspussiation thighs locking his face during oral obnoxygen spilling from his poresI could go on forever You either like the humor or it drives you batsht Maybe if I wasn't in a happy place it would bug me but her Coochie talk made me smile Coming of a darker read it was a welcomed breath of fresh air read but rest assured still sexy as hell Noah is also super lickableI mean like able He's not just some ass that buys some young innocent girl and wam bam thank you mam's her cherry Is he Dominant? Yes But he's also got a huge heartone that can't seem to resist the hurricane that blew into his life pun intended it should be stated though that this book isn't hardcore at all When I read sex slave I think dark or BDSM It's definitely hot with oodles of sex scenes but no bondage or typical slave behavior In fact I think Lanie ends up being in control than Noah Not his plan obviously Moving on Arc received via NetGalley Random House in exchange for my honest review

  6. Georgia ♥ Georgia ♥ says:

    4 Love and Other Catastrophes Stars “Ten minutes to purchase her One hour to get her lips wrapped around my cck Three days to taste her juices Four days to pop her cherry Two weeks to lose my fcking mind Shit”When life throws you under the bus instead of saying screw them all I am gonna find the other half of my soul and live happily ever after just to spite you just like the really cowards we are we close off our hearts and we turn our back to happiness Newsflash people The only one ending up getting hurt is us so pull your head out of the sand and live a littleNoah Crawford the multimillionaire entrepreneur has survived catastrophes Deaths backstabbing infidelity His remedy? Purchase a virgin in an auction and present her as his fiancee for the next two years Sounds good huh? A little funny maybe?Delaine Lainie Talbot is living her own catastrophe A dying mother a devoted father and some thousands in debt Her solution? Auction off her body and contract her virginity to the highest bidder Reasonable right?And thus a contract is signedYou damned foolish ignorant blind people An irresistible attraction smoldering passion and bonds of the flesh can't be denied Love soon follows and you have to stop treating it as the end of the world I have sworn myself off 50 Shades style books contracts ties and other BDSM paraphernalia I took a leap of faith with this story and it paid off You know why? Because this book is HILARIOUS peopleYes the characters have a screw loose here and there but they know it And revel in it No doom and gloom They laugh cry and rant even at themselves when they stray too far of the sanity line Refreshing hot and too damn funny I couldn't put it down until I was forced to throw it against the wall at the freaking end when stupidity reached new standards and surpassed the limits of the known universe against physics lawsOn to the next

  7. Jenn Scranton Jenn Scranton says:

    HOLY CRAPI have read other reviews that are bashing A Million Dirty Secrets but they are just haters on their Anti Fan Fiction soapbox This book was hot hot HOT Come on a good two shoes who auctions herself to the highest bidder Wow And then said bidder is GORGEOUS? Dimples so cute Yup that is me combusting This was a naughty raunchy sexy book that turned sweet Though it does leave you on a cliff hanger I closed this book with a smile on my face Enjoy

  8. Jen Jen says:

    I had high hopes for A Million Dirty Secrets I was very eager to read it and I admit that my expectations might have been too high I thought the idea of a virgin selling herself as a sex slave to help out her sick mother was uite an intriguing and I couldn't wait to dig in Delaine Talbot ends up putting herself on the block as I like to call itand she begins to sweat bullets when a man that looked like Return of the Jedi's grotesue monster Jabba the Hut almost purchased her when lo and behold along comes handsome rich man Noah Crawford to save the dayHe pays two million dollars for Delaine to become his sex slave for two years Seeing as the money is going to provide for Laney's sick mom she is relieved but also apprehensive Noah also has his own personal reasons for purchasing a woman he has been betrayed by an ex and would rather have a companion that is expected to cater to his every whim without the addition of feelings and emotions becoming involved Everything is going well up until Laney begins to pull a few stunts that I felt were absolutely ridiculous and ungrateful At one point she lights the clothes that he buys her on fire out of jealousy This defiant act from Delaine totally rubbed me the wrong way Here is a guy that purchases her and she put herself in that position willinglyfor loads of money and she goes and does that? I call that just a bit psycho In my opinion she should be a hell of a lot thankful that he has given her the means to help her ill mother out He is trying to be a good guy and she is acting like a spaz Then to make matters worse and make me dislike her even she begins to call her vagina The Cooch That isn't even the worst part; she has conversations about her Cooch and talks about it as if it's a person Example Double Agent Coochie was already strapping on her hooker heels to perform her table dance and was beyond disappointed when he took it all backDon't worry she not only names her genitalsbut in case Noah's are feeling left out; she names his too His is Colossal Cock She also has nicknames for Noah that include; King of the Finger Fuck and King of the Piano Fuck and let us not forget the WONDER PEEN BLECHSo for all of those reasons alone I had to only give this story a three stars I just found myself annoyed a lot through out this bookBelieve me the nicknames and her talking vagina are mentioned ALOT Just in case you might forget I guess? Delaine was pretty much the only reasons for my anger and aggravation and that is why I didn't go lower with my rating I did enjoy Noah and some of the sex scenes were extremely hot The one where he makes love to Delaine was so very tender and it sucked me right in I loved that scene so much and was fully absorbed into it I felt like I was watching a movie it was that clear in my headI had no issue with the writing and I will probably read the second book to see what happens I would also be interested in checking out future work done by CL Parker as I really had no issue with her actual writing style There is a line in the story that I thought described Noah and Delaine's situation beautifullyTwo strangers both taking desperate measures to relieve the hardships we had to endure and from all that mess we found each other

  9. ~IreneOust~ ~IreneOust~ says:

    15 stars Damn I was so excited because this was my very first ARC and I really wanted to like this book Alas some things are just not meant to be Just FYI if you ARE a fan of 50 Shades or Bared to You do yourself a favor and AVOID thisThis started out as an interesting if not very original virgin and a billionaire you get where I am going with this? concept and just went downhill from there Dear author Using terms like Double Agent Coochie and Wonder Peen when referring to one's genitalia is not sexy OR funny It sounds like something two 5 year olds would say to one another while playing in a sandbox I am not sure what possessed you to use this terminology MULTIPLE TIMES but for the love of God please DON'T in the future Try and remember that less is as in it's uite alright to use words like cock pussy when trying to write a sexy bookSincerelyA reader who is still trying to figure out WHY anyone would do thatFavorite part it was FREE I am really sad that I lost my ARC virginity to something this mediocre but what are you gonna do Judging by so many 4 and 5 star reviews I feel like I've been given the wrong ARC

  10. Jenn Jenn says:

    There’s this little issue with pulled to publish fan fictions – no matter how much or how little you change it it’s still taking someone else’s characters and trying to pass them off as your own This is a major problem and the reason why it’s hard for me to support any of these When you write fan fiction you’re writing with a set group of characters that many people know going in you get a little bit a leeway when writing because you don’t really need that much characterization People already know them However when writing original work you’re introducing brand new characters to people who have never heard of them There needs to be strong characteristics and development throughout the book The latter was lacking hereA Million Dirty Secrets is the story of a millionaire buying a sex slave and despite all the odds they gasp fall in love Aside from this having been a Twilight fan fiction I have no idea how this even got published – and by an actual publishing house It’s so ridiculous and over the top not to mention highly offensive and absurd I didn’t honestly read the last half of the book I skimmed it I just couldn’t do it Delaine sells herself to Noah to get money for her mother’s heart surgery – apparently not ever having heard that there’s something called a donor list that her mother would have to go through first After being “purchased” Delaine proceeds to be a complete bitch to Noah Mind you I do not agree with nor do I remotely like anything Noah does but her snotty attitude and “poor me” whining needs to go Are we supposed to feel sorry for her? You did this to yourself; I have no pity for you Delaine and Noah were very one dimensional characters and not even original one dimensional characters Delaine was the sweet innocent virgin who was just trying to do the right thing but once she has an orgasm – WATCH OUT A ‘sexual beast’ is born and she’s perfect at everything she does Just a natural Fancy thatAnd Noah? Well he’s the sex god who awoke the beast as only he could The perfect male specimen rich gorgeous scared to love again because he’s been burned and a penis that changes chaste virgins into horny sex kittens None of this is original It’s all been done before Multiple times Please let’s move away from this The actual writing itself was another issue The inner voices and dialogue between the characters felt forced like the author was trying too hard to be witty and funny Instead it came across as childish and immature “licking my chops when I poured the moo juice over the cocoa yumminess and it turned all chocolaty”“I mean crotch docs saw a lot of snatch so you had to wonder if yours looked any different”“He’s got some real potential to be all that and a bag of chips” That’s just a fewThe sex scenes were even worse “He pressed his hips forward and that thing in his pants nudged the girliest part of me”“my tongue got its swirl on” How is that sexy? This was supposed to be an eroticalove story but how do you fall in love with someone you haven’t even had a real conversation with? The only thing that happened in this book was sex snarky comment sex snarky comment sex poor me sex predictable angst cliffhanger ending Your love is invalid This review can also be seen here at my blog I received an e copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

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