In the Company of Women: Indirect Aggression Among

In the Company of Women: Indirect Aggression Among

In the Company of Women: Indirect Aggression Among Women:Why We Hurt Each Other and How to Stop ❰Read❯ ➵ In the Company of Women: Indirect Aggression Among Women:Why We Hurt Each Other and How to Stop Author Pat Heim – Larringtonlifecoaching.co.uk In the Company of Women explains how indirect, or relational, aggression can hurt women and hinder them from achieving success and harmony in their adult lives Gender studies have shown that when a go In the Company Company of eBook ↠ of Women explains how indirect, or relational, aggression can hurt women and hinder them from achieving success and harmony in their adult lives Gender studies have shown that when a goal is in sight, men generally use direct action to attain it Women, on the other hand, have been socialized to express aggressive actions through indirect means using behavior such as shunning, stigmatizing, and With startling insights into the meaning of our everyday behavior, this In the PDF/EPUB ² book offers straightforward techniques to change conflict among women into cooperation by resolving discords peaceably, building relationships, and making the most of women s unique leadership and communication skills.


10 thoughts on “In the Company of Women: Indirect Aggression Among Women:Why We Hurt Each Other and How to Stop

  1. Lynne Spreen Lynne Spreen says:

    I ve spent my life denying it, but now that I m older, I have to raise the white flag Women can be backstabbers Before you respond in horror, let me explain.I just finished In the Company of Women Indirect Aggression Among Women Why We Hurt Each Other and How To Stop If the authors weren t so experienced or lacked data, or if I didn t already sort of feel this in my bones, I might slam the book closed with a snort But there s too much here to simply dismiss it Here are some of the points I ve spent my life denying it, but now that I m older, I have to raise the white flag Women can be backstabbers Before you respond in horror, let me explain.I just finished In the Company of Women Indirect Aggression Among Women Why We Hurt Each Other and How To Stop If the authors weren t so experienced or lacked data, or if I didn t already sort of feel this in my bones, I might slam the book closed with a snort But there s too much here to simply dismiss it Here are some of the points made by the authors, Drs Susan Murphy and Pat Heim.The good news is that women are able to accomplish SO much together, and when they support each other, are unstoppable The bad news is, women are different from men, which means, they re different from what you think you know, because usually the researchers study men, especially in the workplace Lots of us women try to act like men as we climb the corporate ladder, and that makes life evendifficult We struggle and sometimes fail without knowing why We re discouraged and confused, but if you find the work of Drs Heim and Murphy believable, there s a logical reason for the difference, and while the authors have documented their assertions exhaustively, I think you can boil it down to this Men relate to each other hierarchically, whereas women relate to each other as peers.Men form a team, fight for their positions in the hierarchy, and then settle in, happy to know where they fit The leader may not be liked or even respected, but everybody accepts that he s in the driver s seat If a guy decides to make a run for the top, there s bloodletting, but once he gets there, everybody settles down again Think of male herd animals fighting for the right to mate and I think you ll get the idea.But women Women aspire to a horizontal structure Think of, again, a herd of females They guard each other They eat together In most species, their babies are born at the same time and defended collectively I know we re not horses or antelope, but consider this with very few exceptions, we like to think we re all equal If a woman does something to rise above other women, or appears to thinkhighly of herself than is considered seemly, look out The authors assert that, in the corporate setting, higher level women have to make sure the lower level women receive some kind of emotional or status related compensation in order to maintain balance in the power relationship Otherwise, they ll see her as too big for her britches and make sure she fails.I would go intodetail, but there isn t enough space in this review Below, I ll list the points I found amazing or profound, and you can let me know if you d like me to elaborate on any of them Women are somewhatcomfortable with a powerful woman who plays down her importance than one who does not For a positive relationship to be possible between two women, the self esteem and power of both must be approximately even There are exceptions, as in a mentoring relationship This is called the Power Dead Even Rule, and although it has profound impacts on all female relationships, is invisible to most women The female stress response tend and befriend results in the release of oxytocin, a calming chemical In times of stress, women seek out other women with whom to commiserate, which is great for their mental health, but tends to get the team all riled up against the woman who caused the problem in the first place Hence cliques and sabotage develop The authors propound what they call chip theory, in that individual women hold a certain number of chips positive attributes or actions Beauty is a chip Wealth is a chip A high level career is a chip Poise is a chip A great husband is a chip, as are teenagers who don t steal cars or get drunk in public Chips are constantly exchanged with others to maintain even stature between women, and we do this naturally If you get a compliment, chances are you ll put yourself down in response, so as to keep the complimenter feeling good, too That s chip management, and it s the strategy we use, consciously or not, to adhere to the Power Dead Even Rule The authors, who have trained over 20,000 people in Fortune 500 companies, say they often hear frustration from upwardly mobile women who don t have time for such foolishness The authors respond you can pay now or you can pay later, and later is when you might lose control over the situation Women have been fired for failure to succeed, and often, nobody can figure out why But the why is that they were pulled under and drowned because they didn t understand what their sisters needed.Most women care deeply about other women We are all in this together Without women in our lives, we feel lonely and incomplete, but nearly every one of us bears the scars of being attacked by other women, sometimes en masse, and we were disillusioned and discouraged over it.Bottom line, there are biological, psychological, social and cultural reasons why women relate to each other the way we do, and you can ignore it, or you can decide to add the knowledge to your skill set and save yourself a lot of grief There sto this book than what I ve written, including some great self tests and suggested strategies I absolutely recommend it


  2. Cindy Cindy says:

    The weakest part of this book is the authors argument for the origin of indirect aggression among women They try to base it in evolution rather than just staying within the world of social psychology The rest of the book is dead on on how many women treat one another The authors solution, which they call the dead even rule, is passive aggressive in itself, but for that reason may be effective when dealing with passive aggressive women.


  3. Rita Arens Rita Arens says:

    I wish things weren t like this but it struck home.


  4. Aliya Aliya says:

    This book was on my TBR list,, as I was exploring self help titles and pop psychology books Knowing that the Harvard Business School had recommended it, made me want to read it too However, seeing only 24 reviews onmade me hold back, thinking perhaps it was not that great after all.Boy, was I wrong This is an eye opening book, one where you have so many Aha moments, as you read it This book not only equips you to deal with women in the professional setting, but also women you may kno This book was on my TBR list,, as I was exploring self help titles and pop psychology books Knowing that the Harvard Business School had recommended it, made me want to read it too However, seeing only 24 reviews onmade me hold back, thinking perhaps it was not that great after all.Boy, was I wrong This is an eye opening book, one where you have so many Aha moments, as you read it This book not only equips you to deal with women in the professional setting, but also women you may know personally I did not find anything lacking in this book, as is usually the case with self help books Many books identify the situation correctly and in sufficient depth, but skimp over solutions This book does not leave you wanting It delivers a powerful punch with it s strategies You ll need to ponder over issues and situations a bit, after reading the advice here, to apply it for your benefit.I highly recommend this book


  5. Deirdre Keating Deirdre Keating says:

    I ve had so many great female mentors every step along the way, I ve always been resistant to this line of reasoning But hearingfrom friends whose daughters are struggling, especially in the middle school stage, makes me think we all could stand to learnabout this horizontal line of powerespecially since I know women can be great supporters instead of saboteurs.


  6. Joan Joan says:

    Every woman who works with other women, especially but not only in an office setting, should read this book It provides insights into how women display and direct the aggression that, early on, is discouraged in little girls as being not nice, unladylike, etc.


  7. Margaret Margaret says:

    If you work with women, or are a woman, or communicate with women, this is an interesting read It s geared a littletowards corporate execs than towards the rest of us, but many of the principles of female communication are generally applicable.


  8. Allison Allison says:

    The beginning of the book makes some insufficiently supported claims about the biological basis for gendered conflict styles, but I found the anecdotes from the authors experiences to be enlightening.


  9. Skylinebal Skylinebal says:

    My bookgroup read this in October I read segments and found it insightful Explains communication and power style differences between women focused in a business workplace setting The Power Dead Even resinated with my own experience.


  10. Soph Soph says:

    I disagree with the authors evolutionary psychology based analysis for why women are in conflict, but their strategies for overcoming it are solid All in all a useful book.


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