[[ Epub ]] ❧ I Feel You: The surprising power of extreme empathy Author Cris Beam – Larringtonlifecoaching.co.uk

10 thoughts on “I Feel You: The surprising power of extreme empathy

  1. says:

    Beam is good at connecting dots between how various communities think about empathy We see psychological, neurological, and sociological explorations of empathy There are a lot of helpful anecdotes mixed in with the occasional unhelpful anecdote It s a helpful introduction to empathy Religion wasn t touched on at all which I didn t love, and I feel like there could have beenof an exploration of how American society could develop empathy across political, racial, and class lines Good b Beam is good at connecting dots between how various communities think about empathy We see psychological, neurological, and sociological explorations of empathy There are a lot of helpful anecdotes mixed in with the occasional unhelpful anecdote It s a helpful introduction to empathy Religion wasn t touched on at all which I didn t love, and I feel like there could have beenof an exploration of how American society could develop empathy across political, racial, and class lines Good but not great

  2. says:

    If I m being completely honest, if I picked up and read this book under a different title, I d have rated it much higher I spent a huge portion of the book looking between the page and the cover, feeling exasperated That seems unfair after all, this book has some incredibly important and nuanced things to say about empathy The author dives into detailed exploration of reconciliation programs and empathy centered programs, showing their strengths and perhaps eventheir limitations If I m being completely honest, if I picked up and read this book under a different title, I d have rated it much higher I spent a huge portion of the book looking between the page and the cover, feeling exasperated That seems unfair after all, this book has some incredibly important and nuanced things to say about empathy The author dives into detailed exploration of reconciliation programs and empathy centered programs, showing their strengths and perhaps eventheir limitations.Much of what I deeply want to believe about the power of empathy and compassion was undermined by what I read in this book I left it feeling depressed and even hopeless about humanity and the world Maybe it was a great reality check on my idealism, but the promise of the title was definitely not kept This book did NOT show me the surprising power of extreme empathy but rather the complicated, messy, and often discouraging truth of it

  3. says:

    I read this whole book, and I m still not sure just what I read Empathy is an interesting subject The ability to see things from other people s perspective allows you to see them as the complex human beings that they are, and helps make it easier to work together This really should have been an interesting book, but instead it was the kind that I had to force myself to keep plowing through, kind of like workouts If I do my leg strength routine read a chapter in the empathy book, then I wil I read this whole book, and I m still not sure just what I read Empathy is an interesting subject The ability to see things from other people s perspective allows you to see them as the complex human beings that they are, and helps make it easier to work together This really should have been an interesting book, but instead it was the kind that I had to force myself to keep plowing through, kind of like workouts If I do my leg strength routine read a chapter in the empathy book, then I will allow myself a half hour of judgment free Internet browsing There are a couple chapters on the science of empathy and mirror neurons, which washed right over me because science is boring Then there were chapters on empathy being taught in schools, people without empathy, empathy as performance art, and empathy in rebuilding a damaged national history Sprinkled throughout the book are tedious and repetitive mentions of the author s experiences as a sexual minority and of her involvement with the trans community.In my opinion, the best place to learn empathy is from reading great novels Novels taught meabout human nature and putting myself in the place of others than books like this ever could have

  4. says:

    This book is an interesting read for anyone who wants to understand different viewpoints of empathy, the latest research and current projects exploring empathy in a variety of settings The concepts presented encouraged me to take a step back and consider the different roles empathy can and should play, and how it can also be so easily misunderstood Although the book is about empathy, it made me think harder about the roles of connection and compassion and how challenging it can sometimes be to This book is an interesting read for anyone who wants to understand different viewpoints of empathy, the latest research and current projects exploring empathy in a variety of settings The concepts presented encouraged me to take a step back and consider the different roles empathy can and should play, and how it can also be so easily misunderstood Although the book is about empathy, it made me think harder about the roles of connection and compassion and how challenging it can sometimes be to look at someone and truly see them while honoring their story, their choices, and their identity without judgment I was heartened to read about the various projects that promote empathy and necessary community resources, and I appreciated the author s premise that empathy is a moral art, rather than a skill we cultivate through practice.I received an e copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

  5. says:

    Cris Beam writes beautifully, with a narration that easily takes the reader with the book I needed this book myself empathy proves to be a potential gateway to make peace.The book had many detours, sometimes to the point of being too much and many of the times at the service of the greater picture.Below I am bringing some segments from this book with lines from myself.One definition of empathy, something that is related to social media What s incontestable is this we re spendingof our Cris Beam writes beautifully, with a narration that easily takes the reader with the book I needed this book myself empathy proves to be a potential gateway to make peace.The book had many detours, sometimes to the point of being too much and many of the times at the service of the greater picture.Below I am bringing some segments from this book with lines from myself.One definition of empathy, something that is related to social media What s incontestable is this we re spendingof our daylight hours linking up withpeople than ever before, andpeople are interested in watching us do it Experientially, this might feel like empathy Empathy, by some definitions, is being seen One viewpoint about empathy Lopes likens empathy to a skill, and the breadth of one s empathic skill will be limited by the emotions one has experienced oneself For instance, if you ve never experienced shattering loneliness, murderous rage, or even ecstatic delight, you won t be able to empathize with these states in another Whom do we haveempathy for RESEARCH SHOWS THAT we do, generally, haveempathy for people who we believe share similar values or come from similar backgrounds than we do for people who are unfamiliar Three groups of empathy Higher level empathy is, at root, taking on a new perspective Modern accounts of perspective taking put it into three camps A Self focused how would this feel for me to experience your situation B Other focused how would this feel for you to experience your situation C A combination of A and B, either sequentially or simultaneously Can psychopaths empathize It s not that psychopaths can t empathize it s that they don t A line about fear and empathy Fear is what forms a root of recognizing the other as human, a building block of empathy, and it s what psychopaths don t feel Yet fear also forecloses the possibility of understanding and building a kind of moral imagination about the other it s our hope and hindrance at once The impact of literary fiction something that I always try to somehow put into words and cannot One of the literary empathy studies was designed by social psychologists at the New School in New York, and it showed that after reading literary fiction for three to five minutes as opposed to popular fiction or science writing , subjects werelikely to immediately decipher the emotions in photographs of eyes or full faces and also EMPATHY is so inherent to reading, the studies also made me laugh a little It was as though scientists proved that trees gave shade Books are one way we imagine other lives we can inhabit, for a moment, the mind of a psychopath or an adulterer or a nun, when we might never be those things ourselves and evenabout literary fiction ToM is a base note for empathy you have to know that someone s beliefs, knowledge, or feelings are separate from yours in order to empathize with them It s also critical for understanding stories In the New School study, participants who read literary fiction scored higher on ToM tests than those who read popular fiction because, the authors posit, popular fiction tends to portray the world and characters as internally consistent and predictable Readers don t need to emotionally stretch to understand a character s motivations Literary fiction, by contrast, uniquely engages the psychological processes needed to gain access to characters subjective experiences We build fully fleshed out people from the thin stuff of words we imagine them before and after the curtain falls on their scenes we ascribe motivation to gestures and glances One line about art Hyper goal oriented art isn t art it s propaganda and about making art The impulse to create art is often the impulse to understand something, to get inside an idea or a character or a hidden part of oneself and make meaning from that understanding It s an empathic impulse and about writing, which I believe is important for enjoy reading In writing, I ve found, it s nearly impossible to fully hate the characters you create even when their behaviors are loathsome on the page The very act of writing them necessitates a kind of curiosity, which in itself becomes a kind of love, and thefully fleshed the characters grow, the less capable they are of unidimensional motive One side about empathy for the oppressed groups The question becomes this can empathy for an oppressed group actually turn on its head and become another kind of oppression About empathic approach Morton also argues that the most empathic approach is to ask how rather than why someone s come to do the things she s done, especially when situations are morally charged When is empathy impossible Empathy, I learned, is impossible when the life you know is threatened The impact of when the perpetrators show signs of remorse In victim perpetrator encounters, if the perpetrator feels remorse, this caring for attitude can begin to kick in inside the victim, which in turn opens her to forgiveness A bit about nostalgia Gobodo Madikizela comes from a staunchly psychoanalytic stance, and she says the problem with nostalgia is that it short circuits mourning for what you did, for how others suffered and if you cannot mourn, you cannot feel the edges of things, cannot hope for any meaningful, empathic reconciliation dialogue About releasing de Kock from South Africa s apartheid era When the minister of justice released de Kock, he said it was in the interests of nation building Behind bars, he s a criminal Outside, he s one of us and about dealing with trauma, one of my favorite subjects if you don t reconcile the trauma through some form of transformation, Gobodo Madikizela says, the trauma is bound to repeat itself How is it possible that we might want a human face for our enemy Sometimes, when meeting with an enemy say, someone who killed a family member you end up wanting your enemy to reclaim his humanity, because then your loved one didn t die in vain It s that caring dimension of empathy that s very important and often missed, she said It goes beyond stepping into the other person s pain it s also caring for them And lastly, about empathy, power and love After all of this research, two of my favorite definitions are these empathy is an interruption of power, and empathy is mutual vulnerability Both definitions call upon an aspect of loving, and so I m not sure which came first, the empathy or the love I suspect they re braided together, are mutually reinforced

  6. says:

    As a high school teacher in a school with a strong SEL social emotional learning focus, I appreciated the explanation of the process of the Narrative 4 program and I m thinking about bringing it to my school I also had never heard of Playback Theatre and now would love to see a production You should read this book because of the interesting anecdotes and research Beam shares She mentions a non violent communication course in which participants basically just want someone to repeat back what As a high school teacher in a school with a strong SEL social emotional learning focus, I appreciated the explanation of the process of the Narrative 4 program and I m thinking about bringing it to my school I also had never heard of Playback Theatre and now would love to see a production You should read this book because of the interesting anecdotes and research Beam shares She mentions a non violent communication course in which participants basically just want someone to repeat back what they ve just said which then makes the speaker feel heard Can I can try this with my next difficult interaction Just kidding Kind of She also mentions that Japanese parents want their preschoolers to understand and empathize with their peers, while American parents arefocused on the development of self confidence of their children thus putting us behind the empathy eight ball early on And Beam mentions the the RealDoll Doll Husbands DolLApalooza culture which makes me think I ve led a sheltered life and that I can t wait to bring this up new knowledge at my next party Did you know there are doll brothels Aside from the intended content, I gained empathy for the author because her now former partner was undergoing surgery hormones for a gender reassignment I probably wouldn t have read a book on that topic per se, but hearing about it in a peripheral story line helped me to see the emotional realitiesclosely than I have before Overall, I feel the same as several other reviewers I felt that Beam needed data to back up her title I didn t see many examples of the surprising power of extreme empathy It seemed that Beam wishes for this result of her research

  7. says:

    I thought I knew what empathy is but this book made me realize that my definition was somewhat glib and made me think deeper.Cris Beam examines different understandings of what it means to be empathic is it a skill, something to be coveted and calculated, or an ethic practiced out of instinct and for some moral good in the three sections of the book Part 1, Understanding , breaks down the ways we understand empathy as a concept and use it to understand each other Part 2, Justice , exami I thought I knew what empathy is but this book made me realize that my definition was somewhat glib and made me think deeper.Cris Beam examines different understandings of what it means to be empathic is it a skill, something to be coveted and calculated, or an ethic practiced out of instinct and for some moral good in the three sections of the book Part 1, Understanding , breaks down the ways we understand empathy as a concept and use it to understand each other Part 2, Justice , examines the getting along good citizen aspect Part 3, Forgiveness , was for me the most interesting and probably the hardest to understand on a practical level, covering as it did the recent parole in South Africa of a man who had originally been sentenced to 2 life sentences plus 212 years for crimes against humanity

  8. says:

    I found this book to be very worthwhile and struck me at once as just what the world needsof today Empathy for me is when I can go beyond myself without judgement as I try to see a person from their own perspective It is active listening to another s thoughts, understanding their viewpoints It is compassion for another, and a compelling challenge at times The author has done extensive research and her approach defines many meanings, many theories One striking deficit of empathy is how I found this book to be very worthwhile and struck me at once as just what the world needsof today Empathy for me is when I can go beyond myself without judgement as I try to see a person from their own perspective It is active listening to another s thoughts, understanding their viewpoints It is compassion for another, and a compelling challenge at times The author has done extensive research and her approach defines many meanings, many theories One striking deficit of empathy is how it has been weaponized following the last election We have seen hate crimes rise Her basic definition is that empathy is not a skill but a moral art, which can be refined and improved There is so much to this book, to be absorbed I appreciated the personal elements that the author has included about her own life I enjoyed reading this book

  9. says:

    Really interesting, especially for those of us that have a rather overdeveloped sense of empathy This book is written in such an interesting way both technical and anecdotal and reader friendly It s nice to know that there is scientific work being done on empathy so often people are dismissive and in this horrible time in the world, I feel like empathy might be our only chance to save humanity With the messages of division and bigotry and otherness that are being hyped every single day, i Really interesting, especially for those of us that have a rather overdeveloped sense of empathy This book is written in such an interesting way both technical and anecdotal and reader friendly It s nice to know that there is scientific work being done on empathy so often people are dismissive and in this horrible time in the world, I feel like empathy might be our only chance to save humanity With the messages of division and bigotry and otherness that are being hyped every single day, it is comforting to know that I am not the only one that gets that if we continue to live in a me, me, me society, we are going to blow up sooner, rather than later Highly recommend

  10. says:

    Everyone needs a self help book once in a great while and I received this book as an advanced readers copy for our New Year New YOU display we are creating This book colorfully describes the power of empathy and its effects on not only other people s lives but our own Everyone deserves to be happy and to live the best life possible but sometimes true happiness comes when you go out and help others and this book clearly clarifies what it means to be empathetic to help other people andimpo Everyone needs a self help book once in a great while and I received this book as an advanced readers copy for our New Year New YOU display we are creating This book colorfully describes the power of empathy and its effects on not only other people s lives but our own Everyone deserves to be happy and to live the best life possible but sometimes true happiness comes when you go out and help others and this book clearly clarifies what it means to be empathetic to help other people andimportantly feel great about yourself A wonderful read that deserves 5 stars

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